Ahhhh!! How does that happen?? I was able to release some emotions this morning & felt really good about myself! Went to the gym & sweat like crazy beatin' the snot out of the punching bag...that felt GOOD!! I also grabbed a 25lb medicine ball & chucked it around. Luckily there weren't too many people that could hear my grunts & groans:) The past few hours though I have not been able to get out of my head. What am I trying to accomplish here? Try to find hope or just complain...blah, blah, blah...What I want to know is how did I come up with so many thoughts of never being enough & that I have no worth...the thing is, I'm not coming up with those thoughts. The adversary continually & relentlessly bombards us, packing any little available space with lies & ugly, despicable thoughts, until we are so covered in mud & filth and feel such disgust & we don't understand how we got here. Oh, please Father in Heaven, help me to let my light shine! I know it's there! I know that it is beautiful & wants to bust out of it's hiding place. Help me uncover it & clean off the muck...tears want to come, but I'm stifling them & I don't understand...help me feel thy love. I've abused this amazing mind & body. I've allowed myself to be filled with such ugliness & there's plenty of guilt. Help me to allow His atonement in to cleanse, & purify & heal once & for all.
Psalms 107:26-29
26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
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