Looking over a journal entry from just last month...oh, so grateful for growth, but MAN does it have to hurt so bad?!!
Dec. 19, 2015 Last night I had fallen asleep on the couch & in waking up and getting ready for bed I felt a very intense weight...oh, please no... please...an anxiety attack was coming on. My heart was racing so fast & I my body was shaking terribly. I was literally pleading with Heavenly Father, even though I knew that I had done this...I was the one that gorged on so much processed food that my body was struggling to digest it all & I was a natural magnet to negative thoughts & emotions. I was in a frenzied panic as I felt so claustrophobic & couldn't breath. Even thinking of the darkened sky outside weighed so heavily on me. I truly would never wish this feeling upon anyone...It is completely debilitating...I ransacked by bathroom cupboard looking for the Xanax...the 2 pills have left me "not all here"....in search of comfort...
Health is a Blessing by Steven Horne
"We need to keep in mind that all of us, including the righteous, are imperfect. We may be righteous people; filled with love & faith & desire to keep the commandments of God, but this does not mean we can violate the laws of good health without suffering the consequences. God wants all of his children to be healthy, just as any loving parent does. He does not delight in seeing us suffer. However, in his love for us He must allow us to suffer the consequences of natural law or we will not grow & learn. He allows us to make choices which eventually lead to sickness & other problems, because He knows we must learn to be responsible for our own choices."
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